surv-hey! #2

Have your parents ever caught you drinking?
Uh I don't really lie to my mum about that kind of stuff.

Do you love the last boy/girl you were talking to?
Emilia? She's one of my best friends so I guess so!

Last restaurant you went to?
Mexican in town, for more than the food ;D

Did you have an exciting weekend?
Hahah no.

Do you like yourself?
Not at all, I hate myself.

What’s something that can always make you feel better?
Glee (with lots of Kurt/Blaine), James Franco movies or Queen.

How’s your heart lately?
Sad, lonely .

Will next weekend be a good one?
NO. Saturday I have ice skating and work. 

I'm going to be so fucking dead by the end of it. 

What do you want right now?
To have babies with Darren Criss.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
Of course!

How do you feel about abortions?
Valid reasons are necessary.

What’s the connection between you and the last person you texted?
Family friend

Do you like someone?
Yeah. I guess so.

Have you ever been hit by the opposite sex?
Yes.

How’s your life lately?
Good I guess

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Relationship!

When is the last time you took a nap?
A long time ago

Last person to text you?
Ally

Have you ever been around someone who was high?
More than likely

Do you like where you live?
Kind of.

Do you cry easily?
DEPENDS. 

I GET EMOTIONAL SOMETIMES.

Three thoughts at the moment?
Can't be bothered getting up, Glee was amazing, I wish I was in a relationship, anddddd other things

Are you mad at anyone right now?
No

How many different beverages have you had today?
3

What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender?
Brown/Black

Depends on their facial features and skin tone etc

Have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed?
No

Who last slept in your bed besides you?
Desi probably

What are you looking forward to this weekend?
This weekend I have 0 things to look forward to.

6 months ago, can you remember who you liked?
Actually no body.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?
No/

Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?
Probably last night

Does anything on your body hurt?
Yeah

Sex ruins relationships, right?
No.

Where do you want to live when you’re older?
Melbourne or LA or NY or UK or or or or Sydney

Is your life falling apart or coming together?

Coming together at the moment, I would think

Where would you rather go, Greece or Hawaii?
None thanks

Did you wake up in the middle of the night last night?
I was not asleep.

Would you ever dye your hair blonde?
Yeah, and I'm going to again soon.

The last person you kissed calls you, why?
No idea, fuck the fuck off

Plans for tomorrow?
School/Home/Get Ready/Wombatsssss mother fuckerrrrr!!!!

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, I still love you. You say?
That's nice, that's the biggest lie I have ever hurt. Get the fuck out. Dirty skank whore.

What color is your hair?
brownnn :(

Day Thirteen

Today I had school: maths, religion, history.
They were fairly shitty, I slept through most of them.
I haven't been on the internet for ages, it was driving me insane.
I have a secret, the sort of thing you can't tell anyone, otherwise you'll get in trouble and things will go topsy turvy but not in the good way. Fuck my stomach hurts, I binged badly. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.
I'm watching Black Books, way too good, and fun and ahhh. I love Bernard, he is the funnest person. @___@
whaaaaaaaaaaaaa, IM FEELING SO GRUMPY. SO SHIT. FUCK. ~
I FEEL SO FUCKING FAT.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SO MUCH RAGE.

explanation

I haven't blogged for a few days and really I shouldn't be blogging now. My internet is as slow as  a wet weekend, which is just delightful! So I won't blog for a few days yet, until the interwebz is renewed! Just thought there needed to be some kind of explanation on my blog for why I have not been blogging.
Bye for now
xo

Day Twelve

Today was the first day back at school, it was kind of boring. My so-called best friend is giving me shit. But to be honest with you I think that our friendship has been deteriorating for a while now.. She finds other people more important, and she's moved on from our friendship. I guess everyone has to move on eventually.. right? I'm now watching True Blood. I forgot how much I love it.

Day Eleven (x2)

I was just flicking through my blog and I realised that I have changed so much. Like extremes. And I am so so much happier now with the person I am/want to be that I am happy to stay like this. I can stand for my own, I have some ideas about what I want and I dressed insanely well  (compared). Change is okay if it's for the better. No one gets me down, no one can tread on me anymore. I'm here to stay.

Day Eleven

Watching Glee Season 1. 
Today was o.k. Not brilliant. It was tiring and I'm glad I don't have to work tomorrow as I get to get my Wicked Tickets, Teen Vogue and put my resume into Gloria Jeans and the T Bar. :) That's all.
Here's my "D" Varsity Jacket. I got it as "D" for Darren. As in Darren Chris. Hahahhaa

$3.88 GaGa shirts.

reduced from $25, so good!

The Biebs

well I'm bored, it's only 8:12pm and I thought this might be necessary for my blog. 


OKAY. I used to hate Biebs, I thought he was "stupid" and "untalented" because everyone else thought that and I thought it was cool to think that. Later on, I actually listened to his songs. Well like 3 of them. And I was put back in my place. He is talented, he isn't a "stupid 12 year old, who looks like a girl". He isn't 12 anyway, he is 17. I'd like to see the haters and see how much talent they actually have. You're just jealous at the fact he has something going for him, and you don't at all. Just because you're no talented, no brainers, with only half the future he has...  get over it. You want to make something of yourself? 1. Shut Up. 2. Be Kind. 3. Take your talent(s) and make yourself shine. 4. Work hard. 5. Have passion. 6. Have courage. For god sakes, shut up and focus on yourself, your flaws and talents, instead on hating on other people, and being jealous little pricks. Get the fuck over yourselves. You're no better than half the people you "hate". If you hate, you won't make it anywhere. At all. Hate is just your jealousy seeping through your skin. Just love the skin you're in and live every moment like it's your last. Enjoy everything you do. Work. Friends. Family. School. Watching movies. Sex. Boyfriends. Girlfriends. I've taught myself to enjoy everything around me. Whether it appreciating other people's talents and, kind of, using them to better myself. or just feeling content with whatever I have or am working on at the time. Don't close your mind just because you're a jealous idiot. Shut you're mouth. You don't have anything nice to say? Don't say it, keep your mouth shut. 
Thanks to The Biebs for bringing this rant out of me. 
I kind of had to say this because a lot of people hate my idol Lady GaGa for stupid reasons, actually 99.9% of the time they have no reason or no valid reason. Anyway. I could go on and on about this bullshit. But that is my rant about jealous pricks in a brief summarised way^^

Day Ten

Things I have discovered.

• I love dancing
• I love singing
• I love drama
• I love musicals
• I love Queen
• I love Freddie Mercury 
• I REALLY love GaGa 
• My Glee obsession only gets worse by the day
• Waiting 6 months to get an awesome t-shirt will save you $21 
• I actually don't mind working
• I've found someone. Like actually have. I only now have to make them mine.
• I wish I was best friends with Mr. Freddie Mercury 
• I wish I was also BFF with Lady GaGa, and Chris Colfer
• Queen lyrics are amaze-balls

Okay. I knew most of this. But I have nothing to write. 

Inspiration #3

1. Darren Criss 2. GaGa 3. Lea Michele 4. GaGa 5. Kurt/Blaine Appreciation 

good night xo

Day Nine

Today I had a party and coffee with my friend.
Got new Glee, it was beautiful. I cried. So much love :)
Found out that my celebrity crush has a girlfriend, surprisingly I wasn't upset, I was really happy for him. I'm not as immature as I thought I was. I got Glee Season 1 on DVD, Glee CD Volume 5. WIN. :D
And yeah tomorrow I have work, and I'm going shopping or something. This time in twenty-four hours work will have been over until Saturday morning. So. Much. Working. This. Week. which means money... but still I'm really tired and the thought of having to go back to that school makes me feel physically ill, so that doesn't help me being grumpy, quiet, or anxious. I want to move so bad, no one quite understands. I'm just going to have either a huge breakdown or anxiety attack when I go back to school Tuesday. I'm close to it now and I'm not even there. What is my life at the moment? Nothing, nothing at all.

Survey #4

How old was the last person you kissed? Sixteen What would be your typical outfit for a party? Skirt, top, tights, shoes What kind of people do you usually get along with? Kind people Is school a waste of time? Why/why not?  Not if you're at a good school, which I am not. On average how much do you spend grocery shopping a week?  I have no clue, sorry! How do you listen to your music? (i.e ipod, stereo, computer, other music player, etc) iPhone, youtube and on iTunes ;3 How tall were the last pair of heels you wore? TALL./ Any concerts you want to attend soon? What are they?  Not concerts. Musicals. Wicked and Rock of Ages. When was the last time you talked to your ex? a while ago. Who in your group of friends is the most sarcastic? Lauren. She speaks sarcasm fluently. What is your favorite type of TV dinner?  What's a TV Dinner? Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with L? I have... Have you held hands with anybody in the last 4 days?  No I haven't :( If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?  Belly Button. IF I HAD TO. Do you cross your legs when you sit?  Yeah. Have you ever liked someone who didn’t like you back? Always. How many times have you cried in a person’s arms? Not many times. It's usually to my Mum. I've cried twice this week, once in my room for about an hour and also watching Glee, when Artie walks. Do you have condoms in your room? Duh! I run a whore house! Do you still talk to the person you liked 7 months ago? I haven't liked someone since year 8, I'm being serious.  Would you rather kiss someone 5 years older or 5 year younger?  Older, thank you :) When was the last time you felt like throwing up? Always! Think back to this time last year, were you happy?  No If you were given a pregnancy test, would it be negative? Hahaha. Yes it would. Definitely. Four months ago, can you remember who you liked, who was it? Like I said, I haven't liked anyone since year 8.  Smoking cigerettes, it’s a bad habit you know? I don't smoke. Is there anyone out there who can make you cry very easily? School in general. Do you ever get good morning messages from anyone? No, I don't.. Do you know what the last person you kissed is doing?  Who cares? Is there anybody you wish you could be with right now? mmmm, yesss (L)______(L) But they are famous, so this is now awkward. How does it feel to be heart broken?  Not too good. What’s your favorite color?  Pink, I think? Do you currently have a hickey?  Many. Joking. Do you like holding hands?  I do, very much so. Do you enjoy wearing dresses? Very much so. Do you think you will ever be married? I would like to think so. You’re crying at 12 at night, you call? Nobody.  Have you ever been called heartless?  No. Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?  I can only dream. Would you take $40,000 or a brand new car?  The money please. Tell me the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now? Themselves. Like I said, they're famous. So this is now awkward. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you? Please stop. It's not that I care. It grosses me out. Any plans for this summer? Beaches. Summer Nights. Fun times. It's awhile away yet. Where is the person you dislike the most? Who knows? I try to keep away from her. Do you think you will kiss someone tomorrow?  No. Are you afraid of losing the last person you talked to? She's a good friend, although I'd survive, I'm sure/ Did your parents spoil you as a child? Kind of. What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?  Sleeping with my toy rabbit.  Do you think that you’re good enough for the one you like? I don't like anybody apart from famous people. And for that famous person, yeah I think I'm good enough. I need to start believing in myself a little. Is the person you like older or younger than you?  Older! Have you ever dated someone who treated you like crap?  I wouldn't call it dating. Where was your last kiss? information n/a Do you think before you speak? Not really. Do you think you can last for an hour without talking?  I don't speak a lot. Do you show your emotions or do you have a poker face?  Poker face baby Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a J or T? Nope Who was the last person to tell you they love you? Mother. How many people do you trust?  Completely? 1. My mother. What are you doing right now? This survey. It's long. Do you know anyone that smokes pot?  Probably. Could you live with your best friend? I don't really have a best friend. But my closer friends, probably! Do you know who you’ll kiss next?  Nope. Would you rather have big or small dogs?  Small. Big ones kind of scare me. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money? Constantly ;) Joking. Never. Hahaha Who will your next hug be?  Emilia? Will you be married by the time you’re 25? Who knows Would you go on a road trip with your friends?  Maybe, a select few. Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?  No Do you want to see somebody right now?  Not someone who knows I exist. Last person/people you hung out with? Me. Myself. And I. Was last night enjoyable for you?  It was thank you very much! :) Do you trust the police?  I guess so. If you’re mad while driving, do you flip people off? Pardon? Did the last person you kissed have tattoos? No. The last person you kissed started with a J or K?  No Does it matter to you if your bf/gf smokes cigs? I'm not sure. Sunrise or sunset? Sunrise What were you doing at midnight last night?  In bed.  When was the last time a picture of you was taken?  A video was taken of me last night Was last night terrible? Not at all, it was really enjoyable! When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? I'm not sure. Probably today. Kissed someone in a vehicle?  No. Last thing you drank? I don't know. But I'm really thirsty. Have you ever seen the last person you texted naked?  Emilia? No. And no offence but I don't want to. And I can confirm that she wouldn't want to see me naked either. Do you always have to have something to drink when you eat? Yeah? Last night, you felt? Sad. Happy. Mixture. Does the last person you kissed know what color your eyes are?  Who knows, who cares? Who is the last person you shared a bed with? Me. Myself. And my toy rabbit. Cause I can't have a real one. Is there anyone who doesn’t like you? Yeah, but that's their loss.

It's time for an intervention!

On myself.
I want to start speaking properly, becoming confident within myself, and making new friends everywhere I go. Even if the friendships are temporary.
Diet.
Fruit, fresh juices, coffee, tea or toast for breakfast.
Almonds for recess.
Sandwich or salad for lunch.
Healthy Dinner.
Clothing.
Pretty. Elegant. Showbiz. Pizazz.
Glitter. Dresses. Classic. Attractive.
Schooling.
Move-Schools. New Books. Homework.
Hobbies.
Ice-Skating. Drama.
To Purchase
Clothes. School books. Guitar. Laptop.
FRESH START.
To be honest, I'm depressed with my whole life. Including talent, hobbies, friends, diet, clothing, being boyfriend-less, not having a secure bunch of people around me that aren't my family. To be honest. I am over it. It's time for a new start, fresh start. I need to become the person I want to be. It's time for my own intervention, if I don't do this I don't know how I am going to survive to be completely honest. I'm on a verge of a breakdown, and I need help. The only person who can help me is myself. I need to do this. I can do this.

survey #3

Why aren’t you texting the last person you kissed?
Because I rather not.

How late did you stay up last night and why?
12? Movies

Who were the last two people who texted you?
Emilia and Mum?

What’s currently bothering you?
A lot. Especially school stuff.

Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?
I wouldn't call it liking them. I call it a moment of "I don't know where my life is going so let's try this for a change"

Do you and your last ex hate each other?
I don't think so.
I mean I don't like them.
If I only had one bullet.

Have you ever been called a slut?
Probably, I go to an all-girls-school.

Is the last person you texted single?
Emilia? Yes she is.
But she's super pretty and an amazing person, so I don't know why. :)

Have you thought about an ex today?
Haha definitely not.

Did you have a Valentine this year?
t0t3z.
Of course not!

Do you have Facebook?
Yeahhhhhhh

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
Nope

Are any of your friends taller than you?
All of them?

Do you know how it feels to be cheated on?
No I don't, thank goodness. 

What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship?
Good on you.

Ever get hurt by someone who promised they wouldn’t?
It's inevitable, but you have to see the positive and move on with your life.

Did you do anything productive today?
Worked! Earning some money!

Would you ever get a tattoo?
Maybe......

Are you more laid back or perfectionist?
Depends.

Your boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t around but their phone is, do you look through it?
Never.

Ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
I never have, I would like one though.

When is the next time you will kiss someone?
I hope, maybe, it's soon.

What’s the last thing you got grounded for?
My Mum doesn't ground me. Just gets  'disappointed in me', which is worse than being grounded.

When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep?
How do you 'shut off an alarm clock?'

What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
Wicked! Rock of Ages! Future plans! Drama class!
if I get tickets.

What song are you currently listening to?
My computer making noises.

If you caught a significant other cheating on you what would you do?
Be upset. And hurt.

Where was the last place you travelled?
Melbourne?

How was your past weekend?
Chocolaty 

Is someone on your mind right now?
Yes, but that person doesn't know I exist because they are very famous, very talented, very good looking, very handsome, and  very amazing

Can you say the alphabet backwards?
Not likely.

Do you hangout with more guys or girls?
Unfortunately girls.

Why?
I  go to an all-girls school.

Have you ever made out in a bathroom?
Yr 8. Not so good times.
Do you think the last person you kissed is nice?
No, not at all. They are very much the opposite.

Last text from?
Emilia, have you not already asked this?

What is the last movie you saw in theaters and with who?
Sucker Punch, with my good friend Georgina and the random guy who worked at the cinemas who was protecting us from a strange man :)

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Whats the point? Maybe to the 80's.

Kissed someone in a vehicle?
No.

What’s irritating you right now?
lots of things!
I just realized how much I dislike my accent.

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
No, they're out of my life for a reason.
Maybe my dogs, or Katie.

Do you still talk to any of your ex’s?
It's forced. 

inspiration #2

 1. None other than Darren Criss :) 
2. Keltie, my inspiration for life in General, I have so much respect for her 
3. GaGa, of course!!!! (L)____(L) 
4. Effy - Skins. Eye Make-up. I like it. 
5. Kurt/Blaine. Perfect on-screen relationship. (L)!
6. Audrey Kitching's fortune. I got the same one. And it's true. Completely true. 

OKAY. For one. 
You're being a shitty friend. Just stop. Think. Who has always been there for you? Since we became friends, when we were best friends, worst enemies and everything in between, I have always been there for you. We're not interested in the same of the things anymore, you don't give a shit about me anymore. It hurts but you just get on my nerves these days anyway. So I'm not too fussed. As far as I am concerned you owe a lot, I'm always the one to iniciate contact, and I don't think we're going to be 'close' for much longer. Sorry. I guess it was nice, but it was always hard work. I need someone to new who values what I have to bring to the table. Night, 

Day Eight

Well today Mum and I went and saw Arthur, it was really light-hearted and funny, and Russel Brand was Gorgeous. Then we wrote a list of things we wanted to change, and proving to ourselves that nothing is impossible just sometimes it's hard work. We then had lunch at Nando's and then walked around for a bit.
When we got home I was looking at exchange programs to the U-S-of-A, barista courses, and acting class. I know, it's a large amount of random things to be looking at. But I don't really care. I'm organising to go out for dinner and movies tomorrow night with a good friend, which will be nice. I'm also going to make a 30 second video of what music means to me. Oh gosh. I am looking forward to going shopping this week for clothes, school books etc. It'll be nice. And I'm working lots which means money, hell-to-the-yeah!
OKAY NONE OF THIS MADE  SENSE. ENTRY OVER.

This Week

Monday ~ Shops are closed, day with Mum, hopefully coffee and Glee?
Tuesday ~ Day with my friend or something like that.
Wednesday ~ Homework
Thursday ~ Ivy's party/work
Friday ~ Coffee with Emilia (hopefully!!) and new Glee episode, which will involve crying. Lul
Saturday ~ Work
Sunday ~ Work or homework
Monday ~ rest, finish essays
yay life, haha

Inspiration